Soulmates Attract

shoe

The idea of soulmates…
Of that one true love, waiting for you,
you just need to find them amongst the infinite amount of people who are not your soulmate, and you will live happily ever after in pure harmony…
The idea of soulmates…
… Is the most unromantic thing that humanity has ever come up with
I find it disgusting, and offensive
To think that there is only one person that you could love, in the entire history of the world
To think that there is only one person who could embrace your faults
I find it offensive that there is an option out there where a relationship is automatic
Where you are already in love without knowing them
Where a relationship is so easy that it’s boring

If you think there’s only one person out of billions that you could ever love, then you are a selfish asshole with standards that are too high
If you think there’s only one person out of billions that could ever love you, then you are selling yourself short
If you think, for any one person, there’s only one other person in the world, then no widow can ever find happiness again
Or if they do find another person to love after the tragedy they’ve been through, then their first relationship somehow didn’t count
Or scores less on the “love” scale
Or a second, third or fourth partnership means no others existed
Or if you find love elsewhere then you have failed “finding real love”

In a world where opposites attract,
shared interests attract,
shared experiences attract,
pheromones attract,
facial hair attracts,
warts attract,
mistakes attract,
an awareness of your own prejudices attracts,
being lazy attracts,
being proactive attracts,
being mysterious attracts,
being outspoken attracts,
having a passion attracts,
situations beyond your control attract,
the ability to make a decision attracts,
having a pet attracts,
dealing well with others attracts,
knowing about different types of mushrooms attracts,
an interesting visual aesthetic attracts,
asymmetrical faces attract,
money attracts,
no money attracts,
wearing different coloured shoes attracts,
weird fetishes attracts,
number of YouTube hits attract,
a favourite chip flavour attracts,
the inability to ride a bike attracts,
stupidity attracts…
You can find someone, and someone can find you

But mostly I find it sad
To think that soulmates miss out on the best moment in any relationship
That moment when you’re just hanging out
When you and your best friend are watching a terrible film with reheated pizza,
And you look at them, and you realise that you’ve been in love without even knowing it
And, just quietly, you say, “Oh.”
And they say, “Did you say something?”
And you say, “No.”

– Scott Sandwich

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