The weather is a gimmick. The weather is a waste of time.
I blame Tim Bailey for this. He used to be cool, you know?
But then even he, the most popular and recognised weather man
Realised the weather wasn’t enough to keep his career going, and to keep people watching.
The weather became a vehicle
To be reported from primary schools, multicultural festivals, and people’s backyards
Rain, hail or shine, he appears
With a four day forecast
Weather followed by sports, because the actual news was over
Or whether it was wedged between two human interest stories
Because the weather was not interesting to humans
He was never seen in a news studio ever again
Stuck on a Taronga Zoo walkway to show a new baby tiger
Or the Tiger’s locker rooms before a match
No more green screen, with moving maps, swirling colours
And numbers, and science.
Suddenly he knew nothing
Because he was separate from those numbers and symbols
He never appeared on screen with the science
The science was thrown out the window
Which is where my look is cast for my forecast
I check the skies by looking outside
Tim Bailey abandoned for my own eyes
So weather for me can only be the next 3 hours of clouds I can see
Never perceived on a grander scale than my suburb

– Scott Sandwich


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