Tautsmology (Tell Me About The Future)

Half Glass With Water (Half Water In Glass)

So now, as I look back in retrospective hindsight at events which have happened previously in the past
I feel I’ve done it all before, bursting through a door is a dead metaphor, and there’s nothing much more except saying something, the same thing, again in a different way
What if I had had had had instead of just had?
What if I put a comma after I eat, grandma?
What if I carved all this on a desk?
Chomsky could write a book on it
And, what if, mid-sentence –

If I haven’t got the answers yet then I suppose I’ll have to cheat
Writing on my arm, printing fake labels for my drink
Literally sipping at knowledge, cruising – but not understanding – my way through college
Or university, depending on where you’re listening

Sure I can cram it in an hour before the exam but when you think about it I’m paying twenty grand to get a certificate handed to me that says I can do this, you know how many people would actually kill to be here?
I just applied and got in because I didn’t know what else to do
Um, maybe I got in over you, I dunno, I’m sorry if that’s true.

I hope nobody asks me these questions in a week, let alone further down my career
Because I’ll have absorbed nothing except caffeine from energy drinks
Or how to talk my way out of losing marks
I painted the wall with cracks.
And now their cracks are still there or they’re there but now painted black
Like water off a camel’s back
Take that to the bank and smoke it
I talked to my fore fathers and they each blamed the other three
For what came out of the mouths of babes
Whether that was just buffalo eight times
or actually Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
There are more than 9 ways to skin a cat

But those days have passed, I’m in the real world now, and I’m not quite coming last
I probably could have kept those books, or tried a bit harder
Gotten better marks to push me down this path
But instead I laughed as I was robbing a system
Which is a bit dumb considering I was getting something for nothing
That being an IOU for many thousand
But I can talk fast and that’s a lot to ask
But that’s because I practiced and maybe I learned it
Or exercised longer

If I look at my future I know I’ll be somewhere
Some bright green grassy patch, um, with water rising
A comfortable polar bear on a floating melting slab
Things look bad but I’m fine
A penguin happily swims by
And that’s quite nice

That’s not a half glass with water
I mean half water in glass
I mean a glass of water halved
Or two glasses of half water

You see the best things come in small packages; the bigger the better
Life is what you make it, and what will be will be
Three’s a crowd, but the more the merrier
The icing on the camel’s back, like water from the mouth of a horse-sized bull terrier

I mean we’re burning to death but at least the sun’s shining
And all of you are whining
But my skin’s never better matched my face
Can’t you see me step with cancerous grace
Look on the bright side, just don’t go outside
Trees may have no leaves
But at least they’re completely beautiful autumn brown
Lots of brown. All the shades of the rainbow to be found. As long as it’s brown.
Around the globe, no longer green and blue like the flag of Solomon Island
Now it’s universal, one flag for a big happy nation
The future is mixed races, no more colour
Well, no more race, or mice maze
No trace of tradition or religion
John Lennon no longer has to imagine
Err, but we have to imagine John Lennon
Because he’s dead
Hmm
At least the sun’s shining

That’s not a half glass with water
I mean half water in glass
I mean a glass of water halved
Or two glasses of half water

A poorly positioned camera blinks at a paperback
I want my idea back and I want to uncover the hack that stole it

Tell me about the future
And I hold my chin back and try to predict
Based on air movements and the way things have gone lately
From university to climate change
But all I have is a book of blank pages
And that’s not supposed to be something about writing my own destiny
Something spiritually fulfilling and uplifting
I mean it’s empty, and I don’t know
Why is my past just my degree
And the future just rising temperatures?

That’s not a half glass with water
I mean it’s not…
… etc

So now, as I look back in retrospective hindsight at events which have happened previously in the past
I feel I’ve done it all before, bursting through a door is a dead metaphor, and there’s nothing much more except saying something again in a different way
Sometimes in the same sentence as long as it keeps going
Some people will just nod, unknowing, tautsmology
Does it matter what fills these gaps?
Or what if I don’t put a comma after I eat grandma?
What if I had had had had instead of just had
What if I carved all this on a desk?
Chomsky could write a book on it
And, finally, what if, mid-sentence –

– Scott Sandwich

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