It’s Just A Freaking Rolling Pin

(But I Can Sell You Anything)

No clever words are required to describe this little beauty.

Made from solid wood, with separate spinning action from its handles – it’s nothing fancy… but it is something spectacular. It’s opulent. It’s quixotic. It’s vivaciously voluptuous.  It’s the Holden Torana of baking utensils. It’s the Nigella Lawson of rolling pins. It’s the Harrods of dough-pressers. It’s Roger Moore. It’s Godzilla! It’s Mr Darcy! It’s sticky date pudding! It’s no added sugar! It’s Fonzie jumping the shark! It’s Son of Kong! It’s a half hour head massage at half price! It’s something on a stick! It’s Batman! It’s Finland’s 1973 entry in Eurovision! It’s the moon landing! It’s the freeing of the slaves! It’s sliced bread! It’s Titanic taking off! It’s sitting on a bomb! It’s a door, it’s a gym! It’s a goggomobile! It’s Shark Week! It’s lazing on a sunday afternoon! It is the revolution!

No clever words are required… but we’ll use them anyway.

Get the job done with this spectacular Rolling Pin. Because classics never die, until they’re remade and remastered and then no longer available.

This is the original…

Get it while you can.

– Scott Sandwich


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Filed under Poems & Poetry

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