Letter to the Spammers (or “You Guys Are Getting Good”)

You Guys Are Getting Good

You guys are getting good.

September 15, Swansea City, 1976, Spam Comment #4: “This is such a deep blog! What can I say, youve [sic] hit the nail right on the head! You even added some videos to make it seem so much more real. Youve [sic] got a great way of communicating with the reader, a great way of making me feel like what you have to say is just as important to me as it is to you. Keep it up!”

Thank you so much Mirko Filipovic, but I’m not sure I believe you took time off from your kickboxing world championships, and refused a press conference, in order to comment on my blog. I do, however, appreciate the use of the phrase “the reader”, because surely you are the only one.

Special mention must go to September 7, I Say, Spam Comment #872: “Yeah, my dad will like this.”

No, he wouldn’t. I met him, and he’s pissed that his last name is Weight Loss.

– Scott Sandwich

PS: What’s the deal with not having an apostrophe, Mirko? You’ve come this far; proper punctuation would give you balls.

PPS: You’re probably real. I probably lost a fan. But dang-nabbit, I fight for what I believe in. And that is Street Fighter: The Movie.

PPPS: Please don’t beat me up.


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Filed under Poems & Poetry

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