Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

It’s one of those electronic swipe doors.

Beep.

Beep.

The beep is a reminder that the door is open, and the beep is there every second until the door is closed.

Beep.

I know it’s every second because there is also a large clock behind me with large obvious plastic hands and it ticks with large obvious plastic ticks and the two sounds are perfectly aligned.

Beep.

It’s a little like when you’re in a car at a set of lights about to turn right and you can see the indicating lights on the car in front of you. Your indicators are pretty much in time and you enjoy the synchronicity until one of them is suddenly slightly out-of-phase and then your world collapses in on yourself because for a second there everything was in order and now it’s gone.

Beep.

Only it’s nothing like that because these sounds are aligned.

Beep.

Hope is great, but there’s nothing worse than when there is none, and then there’s a glimmer, and then you invest so much in that glimmer before it suddenly dies and you die with it.

Beep.

But this is different.

Beep.

This beep is still in time.

Beep. Tick.

Beep. Tick.

It’s beautiful.

Beep. Tick.

I don’t know which I can hear more of.

Beep. Tick.

The fact that the lights are flickering doesn’t bother me and doesn’t affect the situation at all. I have come to accept that two things can never be perfectly in sync so I pay more attention to what is and not what isn’t.

Beep. Tick.

Is it wrong to think this is possibly the happiest moment in my life? I’ve never felt so good. My previous list of 5 best physical feelings were (in order) orgasms, head scratches, thick blankets in winter, doing a big crap and that anticipated relief of finally taking off tight underpants that have been on all day. This has made my top five; goodbye tight underpant-relief, your glory was brief, and now you’re gone to a feeling that I’m only experiencing for the first time.

Beep. Tick.

What was I saying?

Beep. Tick.

That’s been like 15 synchronous beeps and/or ticks! This is fantas-

Tick. Beep.

Goddamn it! Why taunt me so!

Tick. Beep.

When things are up they’re way up but when they’re low I’m forced to continue this existence and rot in a world of disarray, chaos and carnage.

Tick. Beep.

Forced to sit around here listening to pathetically timed cues, doing nothing but waiting for the next time everything makes sense again.

Tick. Beep.

It was short lived, but so am I and this will be proved when I die.

Tick. Beep.

Tick. Beep.

Beep.

– Scott Sandwich

PS: Tick

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