Rant: Nouns, Brands and Acceptance

You know what I hate?

I hate when brands replace nouns.
I mean when you don’t need to get a pen, you need to get a Biro.
You don’t need a vacuum cleaner, you need a Hoover.
You don’t need an Mp3 player, you need an iPod.
You don’t need a sponge, you need a chux.
You don’t need a tissue, you need a kleenex.

I’m just saying that a vacuum cleaner is a perfectly acceptable word for a vacuum cleaner, due to the fact that it cleans using a vacuum. Now, just because Hoover came up with a snazzy name for it, their brand becomes synonymous with the product, thus the existence of the product becomes their main advertising output.

You think it’s hard enough to come up with a brand name, think about a noun. I think about the people that struggled to come up with a name, that had the choice between the trillions of logical sounding words.

The English language system is beautiful and flawed at the same time. The language allows for one word to be replaced by another, and linguistics enables each utterance to swap with a second. You can say the same thing in a million different ways.

So what happens when you use the word kleenex, you are adding to the ambiguity of the English language. An object is now known by many names, and a word that refers to a specific objects is now broadened to include the entire family of objects.

But hey, without ambiguity, I’d have nothing to write.

– Scott Sandwich

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