Don’t Read This

I can’t remember where this writing exercise came from, just a vague recollection. I was handed a topic, and was told to write an argument between to conflicting points of view between two people in the room, and it would only be worthwhile if it were taken to extremes. So, while I am feeling very strange about posting this conversation between two completely hypothetical people, I’ve decided the only place it can possibly exist, is online.


At your own risk, read below.

Tom: Pfft, look at that fucking crackwhore. What a dumb bitch.

Morgan: Single parents, yeah ahaha well at least it’s better than the gays having kids.

Tom: … What?

Morgan: I said it’s better than the gays having kids.

Tom: A gay couple, you mean?

Morgan: Yeah.

Tom: Like… A happily partnered gay couple.

Morgan: Yeah. Otherwise the kid’s gonna be gay.

Tom: You’d rather a kid never experience love as long as it means they won’t turn out to be gay?

Morgan: Yeah, cause being gay is actually a sin against God our savior and light. It’s Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.

Tom: What if it was just Adam, or just Eve.

Morgan: If it was just Eve that’d be mad, she’s said to have had the perfect titties. Round, like apples. I’d suck them apples like a peach.

Tom: You don’t think a child has the right to be exposed to love within the household, whether or not it’s a gay couple.

Morgan: Haha, ‘exposed’.

Tom: No, I’m serious. Think of the number of suicides or murders that could probably put down to never feeling loved or appreciated by parents. Or drug addictions.

Morgan: I’m just saying that the gays are more likely to actually have sexual desires about the kid.

Tom: What.

Morgan: I mean, they’re already sexually retarded aren’t they? What’s stopping them from like starting up a cult and like fucking the kid and all his friends?

Tom: They don’t want sex with kids, the gay couple just want to have sex with each other!

Morgan: Ha! How? You reckon one penis could fit inside another?

Tom: … What? No. What? There are other ways to have sex.

Morgan: Well I wouldn’t know, ever since the accident I’m only a brain in a jar.

Tom: I was about to say, I thought you’d lost some weight.

Morgan: I’ve also lost my will to live.

Tom: Haha you’re such a joker.

Morgan: Kill me. Please.

Tom: Only if you respect the gays.

Morgan: Never!

There, I warned you.

– Scott Sandwich


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